The Power of Matching: How to Build Rapport in Any Situation

When people are in rapport, words come easily and they intuitively match the position and behavior of the other person. This is because people are naturally drawn to those whom they feel more at ease and share a common bond. Conversely, when people do not feel in rapport, due to unconscious bias or conflict, they will subconsciously do everything not to match. Then, words do not flow easily and unhelpful statements follow. 

In our Comfort Talk® training, we place an emphasis on rapid rapport. When patients enter a healthcare facility, they often show distress or resistance, which can make it difficult for the staff to feel in rapport. His or her sense of rapport, however, can be achieved by intentional matching techniques. The idea behind is to briefly match their current state of mind physically before leading them towards a more resourceful position or movement, both physically and mentally.

For example, if someone is loud, you could match their loudness for a few seconds before quickly reducing your own voice level. Or, if facing a patient with crossed arms, do the same at first then assume a more open position once you are in sync.

This technique has been met with objections during our training because it is not considered “natural”; however, the loudest objections often come from those who end up unconsciously matching their colleagues perfectly when they feel in rapport. Matching can be a highly valuable skill to possess once one overcomes inner doubts. It can greatly enhance patient interactions and improve your own experience as well.

Matching techniques are not only applicable in medical settings but also in our daily lives. You can see what happens when matching the person sitting across from you at dinner or on your subway commute. It is always best to test it out first in low-risk scenarios.

The Comfort Talk_® training and our book “Patient Sedation Without Medication” offer further instructions on how to incorporate these techniques into medical practice.