How to Manage the “Sinking Feeling” or Other Distressing Sensations

Anxieties and fears are often felt as a physical sensation—a knot in the stomach, a tight throat, a “sinking feeling” or some other unpleasant experience. The main job is to get that idea out of the body to be able to look at it more objectively. Once it can be viewed objectively it is much easier to find solutions.⁽¹⁾

The following may sound weird, but it works. This “parts model” is based on that we all have different parts or aspects to our personalities. We may at the same time be someone’s child, a parent, a professional, a member of a tribe, a friend, part of a cultural group etc. Each part is defined by the principles it holds dear. Even if at variance with each other, parts usually get along with each other (otherwise you deal with multiple personalities). When one part, however, senses danger it can produce sensations or behaviors that may appear externally unhelpful to the person but are grounded in the best intention for the individual. The key to keep in mind is that all parts have your best interest at heart since they are parts of you.^{(2; 3)}

For bothersome sensations, the trick is to do a body scan. Start by asking yourself “where in my body this feeling is coming from?” When you find it, acknowledge that the part that is causing the sensation is a part of you; and as such it has a good intention. Then move it outside of you and ask it what is its good intention. You may even ask the part if it has a name. You might be surprised how quickly a name may come up. Then thank this part for its good intentions. Also thank the part for all the hard work it had done throughout your life. The part has gotten you through a lot of hardship and challenges and that it really deserved great thanks.^{(2; 3)}

Then ask the part if it would be okay to take on a new job description; in fact, to get a promotion; and to see if it could help to go on well and safely, but without giving you the feeling you were experiencing.^{(2; 3)}

Listen to the part, what its message would be for you to help yourself along.⁽²⁾

After you manage the stress of the feeling, redefine a fear or anxiety as a concern. Once you phrase the issue as a concern it invites to you find concrete solutions. That in itself is soothing since it put you back in control.

 

References

1. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder/symptoms/
2. Chapter 19, Lang, Laser “Patient Sedation Without Medication”
3. Chapter 12, E. Lang “Managing Your Medical Experience”

 

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